China-Day 10: Guilin

Waking up at 7am, we headed down for breakfast. We stopped briefly at reception to let them know that the guest staying in room 1921, right next to ours, smokes constantly in his non-smoking room and the smoke has been entering ours through the crack under the adjoining door. She spoke English, but just smiled and nodded so we eventually gave up and went to go eat.
The breakfast room was already packed by the time we got there, and once we got a table we had to fend people off with sticks. Twice Kelly had to ask for tea, but when they came out with Lipton we decided it was time to go. The opium wars were begun because of China's expertise about tea and they end up serving us Lipton at breakfast. Unbelievable.
We met John in the lobby at 8:40 and jumped in the van to head out to today's excursion to the pride of Guilin, the Li River. It took us about 45 minutes to reach Zhujiang Wharf, and John led us onto one of many, many boats. The place was packed with tourists from all nations, and we were the last 3 on our particular vessel. John seated us at a table with six Chinese men. He didn’t sit with us, so it was not as if we could converse with them. We pulled out at 9:30 and both raced up to the top deck.
The cruise took about 4 hours, travelling east along the river, weaving through the hundreds of the limestone mountain peaks this area is famous for. As they disappear into the distance the conical shapes take on countless shades of gray that resemble a watercolor painting.
We stayed upstairs in the direct sun whilst Kelly dutifully applied sunscreen to Christian every hour to ensure he didn’t burn. We saw what we thought were fishermen on little boats made of 4 large beams of bamboo tied together. The men balance on them whilst rowing with a long, thin paddle. They were in fact peddlers, who approached our boat and latched alongside the edge, yelling out "Hello Hello", selling plastic Buddha figurines, little fisherman, and fake crystals, which lose their color in water, as per our guide.
It didn’t take long for us to notice that a) we were the youngest people on board and b) there were a lot of French people on board.
An approaching lunch caused Kelly some consternation, since it was a buffet set-up on the second floor, and our table was on the first floor all the way in the front. We were afraid there would be a large queue filled with grasping tourists. We needn't have worried though, our guide John got the 411 on lunch time so we were the first in line.
We dined on various dishes of soba noodles, spiced meats, vegetables, fried aubergine, and french fries. The meal came with a glass of Chinese beer per person, so Christian got two whilst Kelly drank water. Christian's University of Virginia t-shirt attracted the attention of an American tourist who was also an alumni, so he and Kelly discussed how the school had change since he went there, way before she was born.
They did have soda on board, which Kelly really fancied, but at 20 yuan per can, we were shocked by the liberty. By comparison, we paid only 3 yuan in the convenience store near our hotel in Suzhou for a large bottle. Also, we were able to dine to the point of extreme fullness in Xi'an for 20 yuan each, so that price for the one small can is just shocking. They also were going around with very small platters of fried shrimp or crabs, but when we discovered they were 100 yuan each, we gave it a pass. We didn’t ask what the snake wine costs.
We docked around 2:30 in Yangshuo County and were immediately set upon by hundreds of locals selling all sorts of tat, approaching with the ever popular "Hello hello". We weren't interested, and proceeded to ignore them. China has become greatly commercialised as we have read and experienced, but this was a shining example of when tourism can kill the charm of somewhere. The persistence of the street peddlers was annoying and pathetic, and we just wanted out. It reminded Kelly of the Jersey shore, but with poverty and crippled beggars thrown in.
Mr. Long, our driver, had not anticipated such a hasty departure on our part, so we waited by the roadside, next to a fruit seller, till he picked us up. The trip back to Guilin took about an hour, taking us past rice fields, dilapidated shacks, and the ever present Guilin mountains.
Upon entering Guilin, John asked if we wanted to visit a local art museum. We are trying to avoid any "add-ons" and have kept it to shows mainly, but when he advised it was free, we decided to give it a shot. We should have known better.
We were driven to the Mountain People Painting Society, filled with paintings by local artists. When we entered, we immediately saw price tags on every one, and prepared ourselves for the hard sell. It was complicated by the fact that we were the only tourists there, so, just like at the Pearl Factory, all eyes were on us.
They introduced us to a local artist who proceeded to paint a peach tree on some rice paper. It was very good, then we took part in the obligatory tour of the "gallery", where every piece was for sale, all the while being followed by a "guide". The works of art were lovely, but the pricetags absolutely shocked us; 5000 yuan, 32,000 yuan, 220,000 yuan. Each moment trying to think of the least offensive moment to leave, we did see a spectacular oil painting of the Li River, and were both amazed by it. Kelly showed it to John, who disappointed us by saying it would probably look wonderful hanging on our wall. Kelly countered by saying 8,800 yuan is way out of our league. He replied saying it only amounted to about 1,000 US Dollars ($1118 actually). Smelling a fat commission, Kelly said "I don’t know how much you earn, but where we come from a thousand bucks is still a lot for a painting". He started going on about how it is an investment and will most likely grow in valu!
e, so we walked out and back to a waiting Mr. Long. We were incredibly annoyed by the blatant attempt at yet another hard sell.
We were brought back to our hotel to rest for the next few hours. We had gotten a lot of sun during the day and were both suffering from headaches. It was about 4pm, and we agreed to meet John back in the lobby at 7:30pm for a show we had booked in town.
We returned to the room, rested, bathed, and watched the movie Timeline on HBO (the book was better).
At 7:30 we were in the lobby on schedule, pausing only to mail off 5 postcards for 20.5 yuan (£1.41/$2.61). Yesterday John had recommended a show for this evening, since we had it free. Trying to keep the extras to a minimum, we mm'd and ah'd, but decided to go for it. We purchased the more expensive seats at 180 yuan (£12.36/$22.87) each, and they were worth it. We were sat in the front row aisle, arguably the best seats in the house. We reclined in green easy chairs whilst the rest of the audience sat in hard back seats.
The show began at 8:00pm, and was absolutely wonderful. No photography was allowed, but during the show Kelly punched Christian's arm enough to convince him to take a few surreptitious shots. It is called the Fantastic Dragon's Nationality (A Grand Epic of Minority Nationality Song and Dance, as per our ticket), a stunning display to show off the main four minority tribes of the Guilin region (Yao, Guang, Dong and Miao, I think). The costumes, music, and dance were absolutely lovely. In addition, it included the acrobatics that the Chinese are known for, and which we feared we wouldn’t get to see while we were here. They had girls who we swear replaced their spines with wet spaghetti and they moved in ways the human body isn’t meant to move.
Afterwards, Kelly had her photo taken with some of the dancers and then we met back up with John to go back to the hotel.
On the way back, we advised John that we decided not to go on another extra excursion to a Chinese village to see how the villagers live. We were afraid that we would be paying 120 each for the privilege of having a bunch of remote Chinese people trying to sell us unnecessary trinkets. He tried convincing us, but we told him we had other things to do in the morning.
He then presented us with a pickle. We were given a feedback form to fill out about our stay in China, and we have to give it back to John tomorrow. In truth, he was not our favorite tourguide but we feel a little uncomfortable putting that on a form he'll be given. We'll fill it out diplomatically.
Now we are back in the hotel room watching CNN's Katrina Killings.